November 1, 2011... A Year Ago Today

November 2011

November 1st... a year ago today... will be forever etched in my mind. For this day, changed our lives forever. I had to make a choice... My way... or, God's way. I chose the later. 

The shared list had just come out... and we were STILL looking for our third daughter. 

The Lord gave us Amaris in June 2011, but we still did not have "our gift" that was promised us in May or June 2009. 

In the thousands of photos I had now seen since May 2009, I had only come across a handful of files of little girls that both Jason and I would consider adopting... but, today, there would be THREE: Xiao Lingrui (chosen specifically for our family, but within hours I learned another family that was sponsoring her care was looking for her file and desperately wanted her, so we gave her to them), Yang Tu Xing, and Mu Rong Yi Lan.

I remember very vividly as the files started coming through that night. My heart wanted to bring all three girls home... they were just stunning! I read their files, researched their special needs, researched their names, their locations, their locations in relation to Gabriella, Amaris, and Xian (the Starfish babies). I emailed our neurologists and cardiologists at Children's Hospital. I seemed to do everything but pray. 

All the while I was doing the above, I was also emailing Kathy of Wasatch back and forth... I think we emailed until after midnight her time. 

As I departed my computer that night, my heart was leaning towards Mu Rong... in fact, I decided to just sit in the bath and pray about my decision. A part of her name meant "gift", but she was so far away from where we would be traveling when returning to China. We would have to take a train (one way) for 20 hours... what was I going to do? 

I began to cry out to God... literally. I was so confused and now so desperately wanted Mu Rong. I had already fallen in love with her just as much as my two daughters and Amaris who would be in our arms in just a few months. 

But, when I sat in the bath about 1:30 AM... my eyes so, so tired... I heard the Lord say, "Be still and know that I am God." 

I didn't want to be still... I will be honest. I started negotiating with God. I thanked him for Amaris but, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY also wanted to bring home Mu Rong. 

If you have read ANY of our blogs for any of our girls though, you have probably realized that I have learned that it can't be about MY will... I desperately want to be in the Lord's will. And so I chose just that. I have cried my eyes out maybe 100 times since then... maybe more... knowing Mu Rong has a family, but not yet connecting with them and seeing how she is doing and knowing that she is okay. It is indeed been confirmed that she is in the "matched" folder though of one of the largest yahoo groups for adoption and I know she was placed through AAC. 

In the morning when I awoke, I had responses from all 4 of the doctors. My heart still longed for Mu Rong, but I released her file and the file of the other girls to other families. Mu Rong had MULTIPLE families in line for her but 3 other families that desperately wanted her. Her file ended up going to a family outside of our agency because our agency held on to the file for me until I was absolutely sure we could not proceed with her.

These stories are all captured in detail in November 2011 in Annabella's blog: http://sweetprincessannabella.blogspot.com/  We were looking for our little Annabella and so wrote about our journey to her in her blog. Later in November 2011, we would have an actual image in our mind of who WE thought our little Annabella was. But, in August 2012, as are paperwork was getting ready to be authenticated through the Chinese Consulate, we learned that whom we thought was Annabella... "our gift" was adopted to a local Chinese family. 

My eyes hurt pondering my day a year ago. My heart hurts a bit too. But, I KNOW that God has a plan for our family. 

We are currently in process to bring home two specific girls from China. 

To think that in a few days or perhaps a few months, we will know who God actually intended for us to have all along, is exciting to think about. Will we just bring one girl home or will there be two? Will they be the ones we feel God has already put on our heart or will they be someone else?

What a day of rejoicing it will be... when we finally know!

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and My thoughts than our thoughts. 

Isaiah 55:8&9

Remember the Story of Giselle?

For those that have read my blog to Amaris, you may remember that in February 2011, Jason and I found a little girl being advocated for as Giselle. After 24 hours of hard core emailing doctors and Wasatch (literally almost 100 emails... over the weekend), we decided to proceed with her adoption. Her file was locked for us and we wrote our LOI... Letter of Intent. For those that aren't familiar with the adoption terms yet, that means we were asking that she be our daughter and that we are fully intending on bringing her home. 

Now, we KNEW that Gisells wasn't our Amaris (our promised daughter of then 17 years) but we were planning and attempting to bring 2 little girls home at the same time. So, we considered Giselle... as our third adopted daughter. At that time, we really believed we could choose any little princess to be our daughter. 

Hindsight, I am learning that GOD really does direct our steps through adoption when we seek Him, and believe me, we were seeking Him. We KNEW that our third daughter was "our gift". The Lord had revealed that to me in May or June of 2009 when we were in the process of adopting our first daughter Gabriella. That in and of itself, SHOULD have shown me that God would truly lead us to "our gift" as well and that we wouldn't just be "choosing" our own daughter... that HE actually had a plan for the Fouts family. 

But, it didn't... and, in fact, I don't think I have ever really thought about it until writing today. 

We did not pursue the adoption of Giselle though because when Gabriella and I landed in Las Vegas that night, to vacation with her Chinese foster sister Mulan and family, the Lord spoke. And, He spoke LOUD and CLEAR. I don't know how many times the Lord has spoken to me in such an absolute way that with 100% assurance I KNEW HE WAS SPEAKING, but I KNEW that night. 

As I laid my head down that night, I heard over and over, "You can have Giselle, but your blessing is in June." And He continued until I acknowledged Him. You can read more about this story in March 2011... just click on the right side of this blog and find the story there. 

Fast forward, my "blessing" did come... and, God used the same agency (Wasatch) to bring her, even though we were not currently with Wasatch. This is a PHENOMENAL story... you will find it on the right side of the blog in June 2011. Also, you can read this story via the "purple" video on the blog.

While our story didn't end with Giselle in our arms, I have prayed for her countless times that God 
would allow her to find her family and that she would get a chance to be adopted. Well, I am thrilled to say that Giselle is again available for adoption. WACAP currently has her file and has listed her as "Jenna". Because she is part of the Special Focus Program, you can bring 2 children home from China simultaneously.

Please contact WACAP for more information on her.

http://www.wacap.org/

Child's Name:  Jenna 
Gender:  Girl
Date of Birth:  Mar 2007
Continent: Asia
ID: Jenna SJY.0307.32931.01

This child is a part of the Special Focus Program.

Jenna is an introverted, shy little girl with a ready smile in a familiar environment but quiet in a strange place. She is active and restless at home, but a different child totally at school.  She speaks clearly, has good manners, and her cognitive and language abilities are good, especially with adult direction. She loves stuffed toys. Her medical history does not appear to have affected her much.  Jenna loves the color red and is always looking at red clothes when she goes shopping with her foster parents.

Please make sure to request an update on her as well as updated photos. These are over a 1 1/2 years old. 

Heading to Disney World with Nanny!

For the last month and a half I have been preparing to take the girls to Disney World for a few days... BY MYSELF.

Breakfast with Cinderella and the princesses has been scheduled. 
Tickets purchased.
Room booked. 

But, as I laid my head on the pillow each night, I realized my heart was racing... and I quickly move into "freak out" mode. 

What the HECK am I thinking? ... a toddler (Monkey sees, Monkey goes... matters not if Mama knows), a Kindergartner, a walker, bags, water bottles, princess dresses and a 2 pound camera... there is NO possible way I could even go 1 block. NO POSSIBLE WAY!

I realized quickly I am going to need a nanny. Taking my hubby wasn't an option this trip. Taking my oldest daughter wasn't an option because she would miss too much college. What could I do?

I have a triple stroller... but, that isn't going to work because it is gigantic and impossible to maneuver when tired, hungry and just wanting to go home... nor would I trust someone else to cart my $400+ stroller around in between flights for me.

Earlier this week, I realized what I needed to do... I needed to buy a small double stroller, with a large luggage space, drink holders, and a way to "carry" the walker... I am pleased to say, I found one on Craigslist... and was able to get it for about $150 less than the retail price. 

I bought it Saturday AM while Jason was out of town. Then, I prayed: "Lord, please prepare Jason's heart for this... I know he doesn't want me spending any extra money; nor does he want another thing in the house." 

But, I had a plan now... and, I need it to work!

Well, God prepared him. 

On Sunday AM, his plane arrived at the airport. He texted me: "landed" (code word for leave now and go get him at the airport)... so, the girls and I started driving to get him. We were so excited to finally get to see him. 

Mind you (this is a whole other story)... I noticed his car was NOT in the driveway... but, didn't put two and two together that he was going to be driving himself home. 

While I was driving, he sent me this photo below saying: "Much better double stroller"... meaning: "You really need a double stroller right now... not a triple." The funny thing, we had never discussed this and he had NO IDEA I had already bought a stroller 24 hours earlier... but, remember, I had prayed... and God honored it!

Here's what Jason felt I needed.

Here's what I had purchased about 24 hours earlier than his photo... without ever discussing this...

Her name is "Nanny!"

She will be assisting me in Disney World with 2 of my princesses. 

Guess God had been preparing his heart and mind... he was happy to see my purchase and even took the girls on their first stroll in it... when he saw it though, his first question was: "When did you buy THAT?"

Oh, and to finish my story about driving to the airport... we arrived as he texted... "Driving home now... see you in 45 minutes."

We got to drive for 1 1/2 hours to pick him up and bring him home... but, it didn't quite work out as we had planned. Maybe next time I will think more about why his car WASN'T in the driveway. 

Wanting to Be a Big Girl!

Although it has only been 15 weeks since Gotcha Day... Amaris wants to grow up quickly!

We so desperately want her to stay our baby for awhile, but she learns too fast. 

This is our littlest princess and we adore her beyond words... 

I can't imagine my life without her... she is a bundle of energy and a bundle of joy... 

wrapped up in this adorable little body!

Age 28 months:
Within a month of Gotcha Day, she was counting to 5 and beginning to say her ABC's.  She knew that "A" stood for Amaris and "G" stood for Gabriella. She could easily remove her diaper at whim... especially during nap time... so that it wouldn't get messy. She still enjoys her bottle at night time, and I really enjoy night time. She can sit on the baby chair to go potty, but she can also challenge herself as well... like attempting to help mama dump whatever is in the potty chair (yeah... that never works out quite like mama would hope). By the end of July, she could use the toilet seat with the princess seat on top to go potty. She is a total mess-maker. She is learning how to do puzzles... she can easily do puzzles up to 12 pieces if they have a certain shape that fits. She says words and phrases EXACTLY and as incorrectly as Gabriella. Our favorite: when she wants food, she says: "So, so yummy?" Her most annoying "help": feeding the dogs, 5-6 cups of dog food at a time... and, scooping the rest onto the floor. (After multiple attempts to teach her the right way to feed the dogs, she lost that privilege).  Amaris is extremely creative and often chooses to do something in a different way... just to see if she can. Take for instance the way to go potty... maybe she was reminiscing the good ole days with the orphanage squatty potty. We discovered quickly that she can sleep in possibly ANY way!

I know there is a right way and a different way... I will choose the later. 

If you would like to enjoy this on-going post of the many ways she sleeps, you can find it here:

http://sweetprincessamaris.blogspot.com/2012/09/this-is-how-she-sleeps.html

Age 29 months:
By August, she could recite most of her ABC's and count to 10... missing only a couple numbers. She was climbing on top of the princess toilet seat without my help... oh, and climbing on top of the castle bed as well. She can cause an incredible storm in the castle room... whipping out all of the toys and games before Gabriella even lets me know what is going on. She finds ways to capture your heart... without even trying... she loves to wear everyone's shoes... especially Baba's. She is attempting to put on her seat belt in her car seat, but it is tricky. She hates strawberries and grapes... and throws them or feeds them to the dog (despite my instruction). She can brush her teeth. Her most annoying "help": turning on the dishwasher multiple times a day. Give this girl 2-3 minutes, and she can win your heart forever.

World's sneakiest tornado maker... even her sister doesn't notice!

Age 30 months:
By September, she decided that she can take the yucky vitamin that only big girls get... (when I realized she hated it... I no longer gave it to her and told her only big girls get it... days later, she demanded it).  She counts to 13, missing only the number 4. She can draw circles and straight lines and attempts to draw a picture of herself. She can say her ABC's even better. She prays at her meals. She was climbing on top of the princess toilet seat without any help, and without me knowing. She began speaking to us with her own baby-talk language... and, oh is it so adorable... she still says everything we have taught her, but this is in addition. I have removed the shelf with all the games from the castle room and put it into their closet... no more storms! Amaris is able to play picture bingo and match 2 cards of 9 pictures, simultaneously, with as much speed as her 5 1/2 year old sister... while identifying bingo cards for her sister's games as well. She is attempting to buckle her own car seat. She has learned to ride a bike... simply by watching Gabriella. She can scream and mimic Gabriella in any way, shape or form. She now likes strawberries. She still throws grapes. She loves oranges. She will eat salad, if I feed it to her. You can ask her to get you just about anything of hers, and she will know exactly where it is. Her most annoying behavior: screaming like Gabriella... whether it is excitement because the bus has arrived, she's ticked because she didn't get her way, or just because it is a bit too quiet in our home and we need to stir things up a bit. I have taught 500 preschoolers ages 3-5, Amaris is probably in the top 5 most outgoing and friendly children I have ever met in my life. She is as sweet as can be... or, as silly as can be... within just a second or two.

Sweet or silly in seconds!

Age 31 months:
By October, she decided she didn't need the princess toilet seat a top the regular toilet... Mama is worried someone is going to get an unusual bath someday. She is attempting to help open the window shades... by scaling bears and the wall. (Geez!) She can color in the lines when she wants. She is starting to watch 30 minute videos: the favorite: Leap Frog Letter Factory. While some of you hate TV, I can guarantee you would LOVE it if you had my busy 2 year old. If she just watches a 1/3 of that 30 minute show, I can iron 15-20 little girl outfits... every 10 minutes counts! She prefers meat and nuts, hates cookies and drinks 20 or more ounces of purified water a day. She can brush her teeth while balancing her body on the edge of the counter... while I am not looking... yikes! She loves to brush her teeth... I almost need to lock her toothbrushes up just to protect her from accidental injury. Amaris is an athlete... she LOVES to do anything physical... I literally have to watch almost every move she makes. She has been caught standing ON TOP of the media chairs, scaling walls, climbing up railings (and attempting to go over), climbing counters, standing on chairs and kid tables, jumping from couches, climbing the castle... it never ends. I try to pre-think her as much as possible. She also is an experimenter... if it MIGHT fit, she will try it anyway... take for instance, the photos below where she has decided to get into her baby doll stroller.

Our super athlete!

Our little one that can do just about anything... there are no obstacles too great!

 

Our little one that will attempt ANYTHING!

Yep, she broke it!

Our Little Gymnast!

At the beginning of September, I signed Amaris up for some mom and me gymnastics classes...

I took the camera her first day of class, but wanted to capture some more shots of her experience. She just loves it. And, today she actually jumped on the trampoline.

Let's get it started!

While this photo is blurry, you can see the absolute delight from deep within her soul!

Getting ready to jump. She loves to jump!

Doing the splits...

I was sad the camera couldn't keep up with the kid... this was hysterical!

  

Amaris, Let's Review Last Nights Sleep... or, NO SLEEP!

You got ready for bed by 7pm... and you were in your bed by 7:30pm...

WHAT HAPPENED?

By 11:30pm, you were wide awake for the next 2 1/2 hours... what were you thinking?

Because YOU were wide awake, I was wide awake.

I watched your every move, listened to your every song, and laughed hysterically at times (under the covers so you wouldn't hear me or see me). 

At 11:30pm, I let you snuggle with me for a few minutes before putting you back in your bed... 

But, by 11:57pm you were back at my bedside.

For the first time, I decided to see if it would help to send you right back to your bed... you proved that theory WRONG.

At 12:07am, you were back at my bed. You just stood there... quietly. I sent you back to your bed. 

At 12:27am, you showed up again... I sent you back. 

At 12:30am, you did it again. 

At 12:33am, you decided to visit me again. You know what I did. So far, the night was relatively quiet. 

At 12:43am, I was sure you were watching the clock for a "3" or a "7" to make your move. 

At 12:53am, I began to wonder if you might like to sleep in the big castle bed with your sister.

At 1:00am, I thought any moment you might fall asleep, but that wasn't the case. You climbed out of the front of  your bed, laid your pillow on the floor and laid on the entire pillow. You heard the click of the camera (which made me think you knew I was watching you, because you tossed your pillow back in your bed and smiled before the camera could figure out how to take the photo in a completely dark room).

At 1:03am, you got off your pillow and crawled around the rocking chair, (see the photo above) while looking at the dog, and trying to figure out if you could push all the pillows that were stacked on the chair, off. That didn't work, so you put the dog's stuffed animal on top of her, took it off, and repeated this for a minute or so. Then, I sent you back to bed. 

At 1:25am, you decided to sing the ABC's... with a crescendo. 

At 1:27am, you hopped out of bed (I lost track how you got back into bed since the rocking chair episode) and you opened and shut the bedroom door... multiple times. I convinced you somehow to get back into bed. 

At 1:30am, you got your pillow back off your bed (and all your blankets) and laid it beside your bed on the floor. You laid there for a few minutes before getting back up into bed with all your loot and singing. 

At 1:39am, you began to sing your own songs, the ABC's and count at extreme volumes... louder than I have ever heard you... you were having a gay old time. I thought for sure Baba would say something, but he didn't... so, you kept on singing... and, I laughed so hard I cried. 

But, any moment now, I knew you would fall asleep... because usually you do within 2 1/2 hours... and, I was right. 

By 2:00am, your moments and many sounds stopped... 

you had fallen asleep. Moments later, so did I... 

Well, until you woke me up 4 1/2 hours later 

to get ready for "Briella" to go to school.

A Day in the Life of a Little Fouts' Princess!

A Day in the Life of a Little Fouts' Princess!

I thought I would follow a day in our life through photos. 

My hubby always asks what I did all day... so, here it is...

But, I realized as I re-read this, I didn't mention that by noon I have already done dishes twice and will do them at least once or twice more before the end of the day, I will have washed several loads of laundry (sometimes just a few clothes at a time... because I don't mix colors, I don't mix boy clothes, and I don't mix parent clothes), I have taken out the garbage and recycle, organized stuff, made a list of what to do today (if I need a list), cleaned up toys that weren't cleaned up, gotten mail from two different boxes, sometimes even ironed until there are literally no more hangers. Plus I tutor in our home 3 times a week. 

In addition to all THIS listed above, I have done all that is listed below...

The girls wake-up at 6:30AM... regardless of when they went to sleep... they are much like our dog!

Baba brings them a cheese stix and the I-pad for music to start their morning off while I spend less than 20 minutes in the shower and getting ready.

Their job: to make "good choices" and play with ONE activity at a time, clean it up and then get another. Within that 20 minutes, I inevitably solve a problem 1-3 times.

This morning, as most mornings, I eventually hear: "Mama, Amarje bad choices!" 

Earlier in the week, I gave Amaris ONE of the 7 tubs... she could play these games, and only these games right now... well, she pulled them ALL OUT to play with them. Thus, the "bad choices" Gabriella yelled about. 

What tends to be frustrating is that I learn about the "bad choices" FAR AFTER the fact. 

Once I am finally ready, I help the girls get dressed and we go downstairs for their breakfast with gu gu. 

Amaris' grabs their apple juices... I get their yogurt and mix it with a special protein powder... I add fruit, nuts, homemade granola, and/or eggs to this breakfast... and 20 minutes later... 

we are off to the next thing. 

After going potty and washing our hands a second time by now, 

the girls brush their teeth before heading to the front door for their daily photo. 

This daily photo is NOT as easy as it looks because I am beginning to believe

 that Amaris believes it is her job to make every photo shoot an impossibility for that "perfect" shot. 

In one daily photo shoot, I will need to take 15-20 photos to get one that looks remotely like this. 

Within a couple minutes, the bus will arrive... so, we jet outside and load up. 

While Gabriella is away, Amaris and I have lots of fun together. 

I teach her how to play one or two of the games you saw her dump earlier in the day. 

We read our Bible, pray, clean up, play, go to gymnastics, run errands, 

eat lunch and then she goes down for her nap. 

The morning goes very fast... 

By then, I am totally ready for her to nap!

Some days I think she is even cuter when she sleeps. 

She is a busy little body, but so much easier when it is just the two of us...

she thrives on one-on-one attention. 

I get about 2 minutes to check my email before the bus arrives... 

Then, back downstairs I race... the bus has delivered my other little princess.

Gabriella is excited to show me what is in her backpack... 

After washing her hands, we sit to eat lunch together and talk about her day. 

I forgot to take lunch photos today! Darn!

Her teacher has a book that comes home each day... it allows for us to communicate with one another. Each day as Gabriella and I eat lunch, I ask her what she did while at school. She always has a very interesting story... a believable story... which is new... she has never been able to do this before. So, you can imagine my excitement when I finally realized that she is remembering what she did and she is able to communicate it to me in a way that I actually understand what she said. 

So, I shared some of these stories with her teacher:

Gabriella mentioned that she drew a picture of Mama, Baba, Amaris and her. 

Gabriella mentioned she drew a picture of Uncle Ian and Aunt Becky and Uncle Mick. 

Gabriella said she read the book the Cow Jumped Over the Moon.

But, when I shared the stories, the teacher burst my latest good news... she said "Interesting stories, but none of that happened at school."

Gabriella is one of 8 students in her class with a head teacher and FOUR paras. Can you imagine teaching 8 kids and having 4 assistants? WOW! This is why Gabriella attends this school.

Back to our day.

After lunch, Gabriella goes upstairs to take her 2-hour nap. Amaris MIGHT have fallen asleep within the last 45 minutes... but, generally she JUST fell asleep.

G: "Mama, whatchu get me... 2 hours?"
Me: "Yep, I am getting you in two hours. It's Mama's free choice time."
G: "Okay!"

Today after nap, the girls got out Gabriella's first library book: a book about Siamese Cats. Amaris saw the cat and ran to the little toy box and grabbed their cat. Then, they proceeded to read the book together.

For snack they had fresh mandarin oranges and a banana.

We took the dog on a walk with our triple stroller... the dog walked... we strolled. We didn't have our camera, but our shadows followed us the whole time. It was a super fun walk.

Once back home, because it was so warm... high 70's... we played in our water table making mini swimpools for all 8 of our mini whales.

Once back inside... the toys came out... generally all of them come out... WHY?  I don't get it... but, the girls  love it! I try to rotate their toys every couple weeks. 

We play for a couple hours before Baba comes home... once he comes home, they invite him to play... today was a princess tea party. You will notice that the toys are cleaned up... that's a requirement before Baba comes home...

Baba gets the girls for the rest of their waking hours... everyone loves it... especially me!

When Baba got up from his tea party, he noticed some food on the counter... "Fruit Flies will find this!" he says...

He doesn't realize (until the weekend) that the girls eat every hour or two... literally. 

This was just from their pre-dinner with me. 

It's dinner time... AGAIN... I realized that THIS photo below is of their second dinner tonight and I totally forgot when they had their after-dinner snack before bed. 

They almost always eat two dinners... one with me and one with Baba. Generally I give them their vegetables or salad with me (that one item they might not eat if given with other items). They generally eat their main course with Baba.Not all the time, but most of the time... unless they are hungry. 

For this, they had to pack their princess tea party up and move the table back to the kitchen. 

After dinner, there is always more playing. Sometimes we go on a walk, 

sometimes Gabriella goes on a bike ride with Baba, 

sometimes they just play with a movie on in the background... 

But by 7pm... it is time to brush teeth... we have two sets of toothbrushes... I have found that I can actually brush their teeth 3 times a day with these toothbrushes downstairs. (Part of my SuperGirl skills are coming back to me... 3 months post adoption). 

Baba was saying goodnight to Amaris before coming down with Gabriella. So, Gabriella got the I-pad. 

And now, for bed. If Corban is home and the girls are still up, that means they are late for bed. 

At least on football days... 

Sometimes we read and pray together... and sometimes, for time sake, 

we split up and each take a kiddo for special time at nigh-night. 

Tonight was one of those night to split up... so, it was my night with the baby... 

After we got the girls to bed, I scrambled out the door to pick up Corban from football...  sometimes Baba gets this job, sometimes I take the job. Depends on the day!

I happened to surprise (or scare) Corban with this photo shot...  

And, that's a day in the life of a little Fouts' princess!

Well, until I am woken up at midnight, 3AM, sometimes also 5AM and most of the time 6AM... 

someone always seems to need me... even the dog!

Honey, that's what I did all day... 

With the help of my Fed Ex friends, we will be DTA (Dossier to Agency) 

for our third little princess in just 8 days.